That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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