does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize