dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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