Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
