Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
