So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
