this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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