No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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