Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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