lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
