Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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