I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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