Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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