i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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