What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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