just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
