I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
