i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
