Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
