come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
