Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
