So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
