I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
