Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if only i could text you this smell
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
