Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
