I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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