i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
