did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
