You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
