dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
