She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
