Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
