you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize