Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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