I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize