Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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