I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
