she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
