So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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