worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
