We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
