Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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