my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
