Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
