One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize