Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
where are you?
Hypothermia
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
