Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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