I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
