wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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