how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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