Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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