whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
