In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need water and some morals
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
