This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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