we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
