bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
