I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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