Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
